even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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