It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
