how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
