And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
