I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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