Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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