This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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