So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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