you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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