He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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