last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
