You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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