Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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