my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
