Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
