I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
