I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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