mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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