Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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