Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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