oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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