so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
