She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
