i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
