She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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