At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
