I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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