why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
