Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
