i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
