All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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