Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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