hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
