Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
