Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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