After last night, I could never be a politician.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was confusing and full of hummus
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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