I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
