He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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