Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
