I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
