I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We're too hungover to prance.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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