I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
