My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
