Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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