The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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