I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
