he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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