one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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