Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had sex on a roof
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
