this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
