Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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