I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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