LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
