i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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