Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sponge bath it is.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
