happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
