i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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