And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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