So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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