dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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